There are many signs that someone is interested in somebody else. It could be from the way they stare at them to the way they smile or just the way they say the person’s name. Sometimes these signs get twisted; maybe they are only treating someone a particular way because they have manners. Ultimately, the question is, “Are they into you, or are you just delusional?”
They hit me with a ball in gym class. Did he apologize is a fair question. If they shouted from across the gym, it isn’t a great sign; if they walked up to you to apologize to your face, that may be a better indication of interest. Either way, the person’s actions are complex and can’t be assigned to a particular feeling.
Jordin Briggs, a sophomore, says, “His mom loves me, so obviously he does too,” This is a classic example of a hallucinatory thought of a teenager – the belief that just because their mother likes you, they do too. Ultimately, that isn’t how it works. Even though their mother suffers from good taste, it doesn’t mean they do as well.
They smiled and said my name. This could be for one of many reasons; possibly they do have feelings for you. Like the prior two examples, this doesn’t indicate anything for sure. This doesn’t mean it isn’t a good sign; but, no minor actions or situations like these can prove interest.
More than anything, it is important to acknowledge that you are just like everyone else your age in playing these situations over in your mind and imagining interest from someone. All of these examples stem from a concept called Adolescent Egocentrism, an addendum to Piaget’s theory of cognitive development pioneered by Dr. David Elkind.
Elkind believed that teens particularly have difficulty differentiating between their perceptions and the perceptions of others. They recognize themselves as the center of the universe and their thoughts, feelings, and opinions as inherent truths. Because of this, teens can easily become wrapped up in their views and ignore potentially more level-headed judgment. This is often the case if someone is imagining that somebody else is interested in them at the teenage level.
In the end, it is no small feat to determine if someone is into someone else or into you. The confusion and feelings that can spring up in the mind of a teenager are backed by scientific claims about egocentrism and perception and allude to the fact that most fantasies are just that – fantasies. “Are they into you?” That’s difficult to know without just knowing firsthand. The best strategy, with how difficult it is to tell for yourself, may just be asking.
